arctick-monkeys:

new life motto
09.17.14 /12:48/ 2893

x-cessive-bastard:

I was speaking to a friend in Gaza and he told me that his little cousin is writing her name all over her body with her markers, just in case she gets blown up and no one can identify her. She is 11 years old. 11. The psychological pain and trauma the Palestinian children go through is absolutely repulsive.

When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:

"I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury."
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”

And the most frequent response of all:

"Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”

The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”

These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”

A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.

I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”

The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable….

~   Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)
~   Unknown (via floranymph)
09.16.14 /22:35/ 9095

instagram:

A Hiker’s Ever-Changing View from the Tent with @michaelmatti

For more from Michael’s adventures in the Pacific North and beyond, follow @michaelmatti on Instagram.

Even though his photography has taken him around the world, Michael Matti (@michaelmatti)’s heart—and Instagram feed—belong to beautiful landscapes near his home in Seattle.

“The amazing outdoors scene in the Pacific Northwest inspired me after college,” he says. “There is so much to see with its sea-stack-filled beaches, rugged mountains and cascading waterfalls.”

Michael frequently frames nature shots through tents, a technique he says is common among his peers. He also includes a human or animal figure against every backdrop—no matter how small they appear in the image.

“People give scale to nature,” he says. “A waterfall shot with a tiny person in the frame helps to really add a sense of wonder to the falls.”

lilysinthefall:

sextspert:

sobrietykilledtheteenager:

thebigbadafro:

It’s a mix of hell and outer space.

how are u going to tell me mermaids dont exist then 

if they’re as ugly as the rest of those things i don’t wanna know if they exist

people ask me why I won’t go in the water. this is why.

09.16.14 /21:32/ 176878

nevver:

Drowning in Hong Kong, Andreas Müller-Pohle

wgsn:

This stunning look from the erdem​ show transported us to a botanical greenhouse. Magical. #LFW #SS15
09.16.14 /21:29/ 1160

I Xing teapot, Shi Dabin mark. Qing dynasty (late 16th c.)
09.16.14 /21:19/ 964
you make the rule by makoto tanijiri, 2011.
spaceexp:

What it would look like if the Orion Nebula was a distance of 4 light years away.
09.16.14 /14:48/ 125248
Canvas  by  andbamnan